Warning: Long Post

All is not well in sister paradise. Baby Sis, I'm going to call her Cissy which is what we called her until she was 8, and I are on the outs.

It all started when I made the mistake of asking her if I could examine her breasts and nipples before her baby is born. You know, all in the interest of expanding my knowledge base. I was not really serious, but she took me very seriously and declined...vehemetly. Later in the day she asked me if I would make her a German Chocolate cake from scratch. She is having a craving. I said, "If you show me your nipples, I''ll make you the cake." Big Mistake. Note to Self: Never, ever tease a hot, cranky 8 and 1/2 month preggo woman...not if you value the relationship.

The whole thing got blown out of proportion with other family members getting dragged into the fray. Apologies were exchanged and we made up...o.k., I ate crow, but you have to eat a little crow on occasion to keep the peace.

Cissy is due the first week of August. My next blunder occurred when I asked if she would like me to spend 15 minutes with her to give her a quickie breastfeeding class. Just information that will make the early days easier for her and help ensure that she establishes an adequate milk supply.

I need to explain that Cissy is a trained, but not certified, labor doula. She has attended 3 births and has done extensive reading. Because of her training she has chosen not to attend a birthing class or a breastfeeding class. I don't necessarily think her choices are wise, but they are her choices and I respect her.

She declined my offer. She wants to "make her own mistakes."

So, what we have here is a conflict of interests. Her need to walk her own path vs. my need to save her from possible future problems. I know, this should not be about my needs.

What to do with my frustration and sadness? Why, isn't that what this blog is for??? You can stop reading now if you are 1) not pregnant 2) never plan to be pregnant 3) could care less about breastfeeding an infant.

Ashley's Quick 15 Minute Breastfeeding Primer
The Early Days

• Your newborn should be skin-to-skin on your body for at least the first hour after birth (2 hours if there were any birth interventions). It is your baby. If she is healthy then she does not need to leave your body. She can be weighed, cleaned, foot printed and poked later.
• Baby should nurse within the first hour. Ideally within the first half an hour. Most baby's have a period of quiet alertness for the first hour after birth. Use this time well.
• Get help with that first latch. From someone who knows what they are doing. Proper latch is key. I can not stress this enough. Many, many future problems will be avoided if you get the latch right.
• Know your baby's early feeding cues. Crying is a LATE sign of hunger. The earliest cue is rapid eye movement when baby is asleep. Lip pursing, hands to mouth or wrist and rooting are all signs of hunger. It is much easier to latch a baby on when she is not trying to shove her fists into her mouth.
• A baby who is happy at the breast will have her eyes open. Let her fists touch your breast. Infant massage is a factor in milk production.
• Pay attention to her hands. When she first starts nursing, her hands will be closed. As her tummy fills with milk her hands will relax.
• Let her finish the first breast first. The longer she nurses on one side the more calorie rich hind milk she will receive. When she is done she will either fall off (asleep) or spit it out signaling the end of the feeding.
• Many new babies nurse more frequently at night then during the day.
• In all cultures, baby's nurse approximately 140 minutes per 24 hours. Frequent nursing is an important factor in weight gain. A baby who nurses 7 times in a 24 hour period for 20 minutes per nursing will have a wt. gain of 347 grams. A similar baby who is nursed 10 times in a 24 hour period for 14 minutes per nursing will have a wt. gain of 560 grams. Assuming that there is a good latch and milk transfer. That's a huge difference in wt. gain.
• In the early days it is vitally important to put baby to breast often. Frequent feeding in the first 48 hours with a good latch will practically guarantee an abundant milk supply. and not just in the early weeks but for the entire time you nurse whether that be weeks, months or years. So, nurse, nurse, nurse....and nurse some more.
• In the first 48 hours you will produce small amounts of colostrum. It is measured in teaspoons but is liquid gold. Baby poops will be merconium.
• Your milk volume should increase on day 3 and by the end of the first week you should be producing 24 ounces per day. By day 3-4 you should see transitional green poops. By the end of the first week the poop should be yellow and seedy...and smell slightly sweet.
• Pooping is a more accurate gage of wellness in the early weeks then wet diapers. A baby who is getting enough milk will have several, more then two, copious poopy diapers every day. After day 3-4, baby should also have 6-8 wet diapers and her urine should be light yellow.
• Your nipples should not hurt when you nurse. Tender is o.k., pain is not. Pain is a signal that the latch is poor and milk transfer may be impaired. Nipple trauma from a poor latch can lead to infection, mastitis, thrush, poor infant wt. gain. You should get professional help as soon as possible.
• Trust your body to make enough milk for your baby. Trust your baby to eat when she is hungry.

Cissy doesn't read my blog so all of the effort that I put into this post is for naught. But I feel better. Cleansed. I think I can let it go now.