We went to the book store yesterday. My 13 year old is leaving on the 6th for a nine day teen adventure camp. Hiking in the White Mountains, white water rafting and then sea kayaking. I am in denial.
I had promised that I would buy her two new books for her trip. This child devours books the way the rest of us eat chocolate. Her current favorite author is Terry Pratchett. He is a prolific writter with over 45 books in print. My daughter is determined to read all of them before she turns 14. She has read all of the T.P.'s in the Portland Public Library. Her father has recently found a few at the Lewiston Library that she has not read. One of the worse states of being for this child is not having a "new" book to read.
The tribe and I entered the book store, each child with a buddy and headed for the Sci Fi/Fantasy section. The adult Sci Fi/Fantasy section. And there in the middle of the stacks was a drop dead gorgeous man.
6 foot, 3 inches tall. Salt and pepper gray hair and bread, a la Old Man and the Sea. Blue eyes. And lean. He was wearing shorts and it was hard not to miss his chiseled calf's. A quick hand scan confirmed that his ring finger was bare. Yowza!
(O.K., my 13 year old has finished editing this. Yes, she is my editor. How else would I know where and how to use my apostrophes?)
Anyhow, I was seriously considering dragging this guy over to the show tune/musical aisle for a little whoopee. I was feeling lust in my heart. LUST! Because, as I have said before, celibacy sucks, people!
I was having trouble catching my breath. I leaned over to give my daughter a hand with her selection. She was disappointed that the store did not have more titles by her current favorite author. Three full shelves were not enough.
Hunky Guy piped up and voiced his approval of her choice of the author. Another Terry Pratchett fan. And a great excuse to flirt. Maybe ask him to join me for a cup of tea in the cafe. Who knows what our future might hold? I just wanted to gaze longingly into his eyes.
Mom....... MOM? (8 year old son)
Huh? What, honey?
Mom, can we go to the Children's section, now please? I'm bored.
In a minute. (bending down to whisper to the 4 year old) Sweetie, would you please let go of Momma's leg?
NO MOM! Now...I want to go NOWWW!
I reluctantly said good-bye to the man who could have been the next Love of My Life. It had, oh so briefly, crossed my mind to deny that the 4 clamoring children belonged to me. They were..... a neighbor's kids. Expect that they have the annoying habit of calling me "Mom".
This same ethical dilemma reared its ugly head recently. My 3 month subscription to the first on-line dating site expired in early May. Those waters were played out. It was time to move on to greener pastures. Plus, I am not having any luck picking up guys at my local deli counter.
I went to a new service, there are literally dozens, and signed up for one month in a fit of alcohol induced romantic hopefulness. This site offered many more opportunities to write about what you were looking for and about yourself. And I love to write. As an added bonus, there seemed to be many men in my age group living right here in the greater Portland area.
I arrived at the point in the process where you are asked how many children you have and if they are living with you. The old site was very specific. I was required to type in a number.
The new site gave me the choice of several bubble options. 1 child, 2 children or 3(or more) children living at home. My hand froze on the mouse. What the hell was this (Or more) crap? I have to check a bubble that leaves the (or more) up to the imagination of a man? One with a vivid imagination could easily leap to the faulty conclusion that I had 6, 8....13 kids. But if I filled in the 2 children option then I would be denying the existence of 2 of my children. And that would morally reprehensbile....right?
I mean, just imagine at some point in the future I invite Mr. Right to finally meet my kids. Explaining that I am mathematically challenged probably would sour the relationship. Ya think?
So now I am the divorced mother of 3(or more) children. Is it any wonder that as of today 76 men have viewed my profile and that I have only received e-mails from a handful of idiots? (I am saving these blog worthy gems for a rainy day.) Honesty does not pay.
7 comments:
We must be on the same Blog wavelength today, as I posted a similar "they're not mine" story tonight! I'm glad your daughter reads, its so cool and so much better than watching TV!
I wish I could help you on the Man front, but I can only begin to imagine how frustrating it could be.
"One of the worse states of being for this child is not having a "new" book to read."
YES!!! another child has fallen to the evils of books muahahahahaha our plan is working well gustof
reading is awesome, i read all teh time, books on books on books, right on to the daughter in question cus you can never go wrong with knowledge
And memorize the line "Would you beleive me if I said I was they're Aunt?" or "Their bark is worse than their bite." or "Here's my number, call me in 14 years."
Thanks for the email today. You are SO sweet! And I'm a woman on the edge! :0
I don't need to be in this predicament to sympathize. The truth is, it will take a special guy to accept the kids, too. Men see kids and they see responsibility staring back at them (if they're good guys, that is) - and if I had to guess, I'd say it's the financial and emotional responsibility more than the day-to-day that scares them. We'll just keep hoping for that special guy, shall we? He's out there somewhere.
Ya should have just pounced on the library dude. Literacy is a big bonus!!
I agree with Denise. When one finds a hottie in a bookstore or library, one must take advantage of that!!!!
Now wouldn't it be crazy if you and that guy crossed paths again sometime soon? :-)
I love it that your daughter reads!!! I was a serious reader when I was a kid and actually READ THROUGH all the books in the Jr. section of my small hometown library. Quite an accomplishment. :-)
I was a passionate reader as a kid too. I too read all the books in our small town library's junior section. I read em ALL. I think it's an awesome addiction. :)
Sorry about cute bookstore guy. Let's just assume he was gay and that's why he didn't give you his number post haste and wisk you off for a little whoppee in the musical section. :)
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