We were all set to go to our camp today. Bags packed, food prepared, tank full. Ready to rock n' roll. A few days of sitting with my sis's under our favorite tree as the kids frolicked in the lake. Heaven on earth.
Only my boy has not been feeling well. His nose has been very stuffy for the last several weeks and it has been getting worse. He woke up this morning with red eyes, a sore throat and a chunky cough. I called my sister to let her know that we would not be coming up today. The kids overheard me on the phone and all three of them started screaming and crying. Snot and tears everywhere. Two of them actually threw themselves on the ground and begged that we go anyway. I wasn't caving this time.
I called the doctor's office and got him a 3:15pm "open access" appointment. Better yet, it was with our family doctor. Time to figure out what was going on.
He lay on the couch for most of the day. When it was time to go to the doctors and we were getting into the car he said, "I hope that I don't have to go to the hospital to have a booger defier."
A what, son?
A booger defier. You know Mom, the thing they stick up your nose that sucks the boogers out.
No, we are not going to have to go to the hospital. And, Uummm, I am pretty sure there is no such thing as a booger defier. We're gonna get you fixed up, though.
What do you do for the 35 interminable minutes that you are trapped in a very, very small exam room while you wait for the doctor? With a hyperactive, chatty 8 year old boy? Certainly not read the current issue of The New Yorker that I stupidly brought with me.
After he had contorted the exam chair into every conceivable position, examined a speculum(that was a fun explanation!), played with the blood pressure cuffs, bounced off of the walls several dozen times, he inevitably discovered the non-latex purple exam gloves. Who knew that you one mom and one boy could have so much fun with one purple glove?
See how momma's face turns as purple as the glove as she tries to blow the damned thing up. Laugh as boy sucks on the purple cow udders. Hoot as he places it on his head...a purple rooster cockscomb! And then...and then...
We invented our own BOOGER DEFIER! This is what happened when the boy placed the inflated purple glove over his mouth and his momma popped it in a fit of peevish exasperation....the snobbers flew out of the boy's nose. No kidding!
(snobbers is a family word: snot + boogers = snobbers)
We both laughed so hard that we had a hard time stopping. We had to try it a few more times just to make sure it really worked. It did.
Don't even think about it. I have already applied for the patent. This is going to make me a million bucks.
(My son is going to be fine. We are running some rast blood tests to see if he has developed any new allergies and put him on a steroid nasal anti-inflammatory drug and an OTC antihistamine. Tomorrow, if the the gods are willing, we go to Camden. Yippee!)
Monday, July 10, 2006
"The Booger Defier"
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15 comments:
Well I done seen about everything when I see a booger defiiiiiier. It's funnier if I sing it, but you get the drift.
You guys are a HOOT!
Good luck with the camping, you'll have blogging fodder for days! :)
I love Camden!!!!! JEALOUS! And lmao about the boogie defier.
I was totally thinking allergies as I read your post. My son has them too. I thought he had a perpetual cold/cough but it turns out to be the same pollen/ragweed/mold/nature/earth/air allergies that I have.
I hope the meds help. My son takes zyrtec and it has changed our lives. Cue the footage of him running through a field of dandelions and the guy's voiceover listing side effects here.
Lisa
Good luck hope he is better soon.
You are gonna be so RICH! You might have to find your bliss by shopping!
This was funny. And we are adopting snobbers as a family word fer sure.
I hope you get to make your trip! Booger defier! That's hilarious! I think we've got one here and Baby HATES it!
Too funny! I'm gonna start playing with the gloves too. AlL I ever so is try to read them books and explain the advertisments in magazines to them. This sounds much more fun!
Awesome! Have fun in Camden and eat some lobsters for me.
This reminds me of the time that Sophia and I were looking out my back window and I did something that made her laugh so hard that snobbers (love the word) flew out and hit the window in a slimy gob. Good times.
Booger Defier...that is priceless. In our home, it is called the booger sucker. Ever accidently shot the booger back in instead of sucking them out? I have...it does not make for happy campers! No pun intended...Smiles
HAHAHAHA - this is GREAT. At least he will no longer be scared of the booger defier, since you guys, you know, invented it.
:-)
Will you remember the little people after you make your mint on the booger defier? :-)
(BTW - I like your glove pic!!!!) :-)
Have fun camping!
Booger Defier -- we could use one here for the allergy kids!
A game we play while waiting in the exam room is good old "I spy." My two kids and I have spied a lot of stuff. It is best played when you are put in a different exam room for each visit. Those little boogers have long memories!
stopped in to check for a new post. there is none:o( but i thought Id say hi anyway so HI
You know what they say, necessity is the mother of invention. Obviously there was a need for a booger defier or you two wouldn't have invented it!
I'll watch for it at Walgreens...
Booger defier-- that is pretty funny.
You certainly were a good sport in the doctor's office.
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