On June 13th The New York Times ran an article entitled "Breast-Feed or Else". The article talks about a new HHS initiative to inform mothers of the risks associated with formula feeding their babies. There is even talk of putting warning labels on cans of formula. Well, I say, it's about friggin' time! If I ran the country, women would only be able to obtain formula with a prescription from a doctor. Hold on, hold on...I am climbing up onto my high horse. A tall woman on a high horse...Whoa!
We currently scare the shit out of women when they are pregnant about drinking and smoking. Fear of fetal alcohol syndrome and low birth weight babies are enough to keep most women from indulging. We bend over backward to be healthy during our pregnancies. Once the babies are born, all bets are off.
You know what? Let's ask a newborn.
Excuse me, Sir. You, in the plastic box. Yes, you. Can you give us a moment to answer some questions?
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
How are you feeling?
Damn, that was one hell of a gnarly ride. I mean, it was wild! I was, like, being squeezed like I was toothpaste in a tube. And then the light, the air...man, it was mind blowin'.
What do you think about your Mothers decision not to breastfeed?
WHAT THE FUCK! She never asked me! Damn, I'm bummin'.
Why are you upset?
Duuuuuh! You're not very bright, woman. I'll bet you were formula fed. Listen up!
I want to be Smarter, Healthier and Leaner, not Dumber, Sicker and Fatter.
Smarter?
Hell, YEAH! Moms has all of these plans for my butt. Full ride to Harvard, save the world, blah, blah, blah. Me, I just don't want to have to study as hard. Oh, and be able to get away with shit when I'm a kid. The smarter you are the more shit you can get away with...everyone knows that. Plus, She was fed that nasty-ass formula and with any luck I'll be smarter than her. That will ROCK!
I thought children given formula were just as healthy as breastfed children?
Damn, woman, have you been living under a rock for the last 50 years. My Momma's milk is the best stuff going. I will still be kicking ass at 80 if I get it at the start. I mean, sure, I'll get snotty colds and vomit occasionally. Anything to gross Moms out. But, hey, I won't get as sick for as long as my formula fed buddies. More time to climb on the roof. Cool!
What does being fat have to do with breastfeeding?
Can you even read, woman? Those smart ass scientists, all breastfed I'll bet, have enough studies to choke a horse about this shit. If my Moms doesn't breastfeed me there's a good chance I will look like Uncle Fred when I'm his age. Oh, you haven't met him yet? Huge...as in house, huge. If I'm still going to be bungee jumping when I'm a geezer, I need my mom's milk.
Well, your Mother is concerned that nursing you will be hard work.
Well, shit, yeah! It's hard work, but what in the hell did she think being my Moms was going to be? FUN?? O.k.. O.k. I'll throw her the occasional hug and kiss. She's gonna love the cards I make her. But, man, nursing me is going to be a piece of cake compared to the crap that I'm going to bring on when I'm two.
And what's the big deal anyway. She gets to sit on her butt and look at me while I nosh. 10, 12 times a day. No biggie. And if she plays her cards right, I'll sleep like a baby before I want to chow down again.
She is worried about making enough milk for you. You are what, over 8 pounds?
8 pounds, 14 ounces, Thank you very much. My moms knows how to grow kick ass babies. Will ya tell her to pay attention to me? I'll let her know when I'm ready to eat. If she watches my eyes when I'm sleepin', they'll flutter. I'll be dreamin' of catching some good waves. Yeah, by the time I'm shoving my fists in my mouth or freaking out cryin', it's like, way to late. Tell her to follow my lead. If she lets me eat when I want, I'll tell her body to make all the milk I need. She has to trust me, man. Oh, and she has to trust her body, too. It works....has forever. Does a dumb ass cow worry about making enough milk for her calf? NOOOO! And my Moms is way smarter than a cow...right???
Oh, oh, oh!!! And tell her that my shit won't stink. She'll like that.
So, you feel strongly about her choice?
Dint I already tell you?! Damn, woman. One.More.Time. Smarter, Healthier and Leaner. It's a no brainer.
As an added bonus, I get to spend some serious up close and personal time with BOOBIES. It's gonna be like 18-20 years before I get that kinda action again.
Hey Nice Lady, could ya get me the hell out of this plastic box and bring me over to Moms? Yeah...right here in the crook of her arm. Ssshh! She's sleepin'. Damn, she smells good. Nice talkin' to ya. Time for some shut eye........
Sweet Dreams, little man.
So, why do I think that China is going to take over the world? Because in 2004 China made every single maternity hospital in the country adopt the World Health Organizations Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative. And that means that in 20 more years the 10 gazillion Chinese who were breastfeed as babies will be smarter, healthier and leaner then us dumb, sick and fat Americans. Of the 5500 maternity hospitals in the US, only 53 have been accredited as Baby Friendly. Something is seriously wrong with our culture when we think it is all about a womans choice. Just ask a baby!
Climbing off of my high horse. Wow, that was fun! I feel cleansed.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Why China Is Going to Take Over the World!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Ya know...you have brought up a great point! There are warnings of ALL sorts aimed at pregnant women about fetal health. What the FUCK? Avoid drinking, smoking, etc. while pregnant because you love your baby and you want it to be healthy, yet shove a latex nipple filled with experimental drugs in it's mouth once it's born. It makes no sense.
And yes....formula is an experiment in progress! Manufacturers are constantly formulating and reformulating the chemical make up of this crap in order to mimic human milk.
I'm all about breastfeeding. Even at 46 with my last child, I breast fed.
I breastfed for the simple reason that it seemed like the thing my body was meant to do. I was adopted, and my mom tells me that I spent my first two years with a rash. There was nothing she could do, of course.
It was also cheap, and oh-so-easy in the middle of the night. Bring baby to bed, nurse us both to sleep. My eldest was nursed - and nothing else - from his 7.5 lb birth weight until he was 24 lbs (at six months). He nursed for 18 months. He's 17 now, 5'11" and weighs 165. He's just pretty. And every now and then I look at him and think HEY! LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!
You said it! I totally agree. It was what nature intended.
Lisa
I guess I just have a hard time with these absolutes. They make me scared. I'm unable to exclusively breastfeed because Insufficient Glandular Tissue, despite all my best and heartfelt effort. I have to supplement with formula. I have no idea how much breastmilk my baby gets; maybe not much at all. My lactation consultant was very supportive and compassionate, but I feel terrible. I don't want to believe that my beautiful daughter will be doomed to a life of stupidity and obesity just because my body fails to perform...I can't believe that. I just can't.
Anonymous, you have my deepest respect. There are a small minority of women who, through no fault of their own, are not able to breastfeed. (women who have had breast reduction/augmentation surgery, a chest tube or a grandmother who took DES, for example.) Any BM that your daughter receives is beneficial. You know that or you would not have gone to the lengths that you did to nurse her.
My post is directed at our culture in general. 10 years after the AAP revised its Breastfeeding Guidelines, rates are still going down. Less then 10% of babies are still nursing at a year. In a normal, healthy woman with no underlying medical condition, I believe that it is in the child's best interest specifically and our society's best interest, generally, to breastfeed. As a society, we will be continue to see increasing rates of adult on-set diabetes, obesity, osteoporosis, etc. Many of these trends can be reversed if the breastfeeding rate is increased.
Many women never even attempt to breastfeed. If they do and run into trouble, they either do not seek help or do not know where to get it.
You got help. Lucky baby, smart momma.
It is intimidating though! I breastfed all mine, some longer than others. But, the first time I had a "lactation nurse" come in and man-handle my boobs, I thought I was gonna have to pack em up!
:)
Thanks for visiting my blog. We would be an interesting pair walking into a restaurant to have lunch. I'm 5 ft 1. Somehow, I've always had tall friends. One of my best buds in high school was your height. As a team, we could manuever through the halls better than anyone else because I could see between the armpits and she could see the path from the top. You are spunky...I like spunky 'cause "I are one"!
That was great! You should go sell that to WIC. they'd eat it up with a spoon. :)
I had the WORST time nursing. I couldn't make milk to save my soul. i did it until my kids were 8 months old though.
That was a great piece!! Have you shared this with your sisters? Or how about the NYTimes? Keep it up. Luvs ya, Mom
I wrote a comment, but I guess it didn't go through. This is frustrating.
Anyway, I totally agree with you. I breastfed my Maggie until she was 20 months old and people were starting to stare.
My middle child Abby was allergic to breast milk among other things. I tried altering my diet. But she had acid reflux and what the doctors thought were a form of migraines and she couldn't keep breast milk down. And so, we imported her food from England. Thsi was difficult on me.
Anyway, I just weaned Nikki a couple of months ago and she is over two. She didn't want to and she still asks for a"snacky" but enough is enough. I wanted my body back-- and well, I thought my mother would call CPS if i didn't stop soon.
Thanks for visiting my blog. :)
Yeah, this is a tough issue. I just get worried when women are not given the opportunity to make a choice like this for themselves and their kids. There are obviously many great health benifits to mother's milk. The fact is that there are a good number of new moms who just can not breastfeed and I don't think it's fair for them to be made to feel inadaquate because of it. Isn't being a new mom hard enough without all that guilt? Then, if you do decide to or are able to breastfeed and want to actually leave the house with your baby, oh lordy! the indecency! I guess people just get so passionate about things like the welfare of little babies (well, come on, they're babies!) that it's hard to find a compromise.
Great post, by the way. I love your writing style.
Post a Comment