Good Reads

Before I settled into my Momma Bear chair last night to read the current issue of The New Yorker and watch a bit of mind numbing television I read the comments from yesterdays post. Oh My! You all think I know what the hell I'm doing! Some of you actually wanted my advice. How sweet! Much like in a Dr. Seuss book, my head proceeded to swell and swell and swell. What an ego trip.

15 minutes later my 8 year old son slapped me (figuratively) back to reality. That is one of the reasons he was sent to me. He helps keep me humble....very, very humble. I won't get into the ugly details of the next hour. Suffice it to say that there was much sobbing on his part, anger on mine. After doing everything that I could think of to calm him down and get him to sleep I gave up. I vaguely remember saying something like "That's it! I'm done with you. Do not, do you HEAR me? Do not come out of your room again. And no, I am not going to let you do what you want to do. (An activity that was incompatible with bedtime.) GO TO SLEEP....NOW!" I was not feeling any love in my heart for him. I was thinking of doing things to him that would have qualified me for a visit from Child Protective Services.

After I stomped back downstairs, my 11 year old daughter, bless her heart, took pity on her brother. She calmed him down and helped him to get to sleep. She was probably agreeing with him about what a MEAN MOMMA I was!

So, ego firmly back in place, I want to offer you all some real advice. READ! I have read dozens upon dozens of parenting books on every conceivable topic over the last 14 years. Most of them are not worth the paper that they are printed on. (Topping the list are any of the "What to Expect" Books.) Here is a list of what I consider to be the Best of the Best. My gift to you.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
I love reading birth books. Ina May's is the best that has been written in many years. The first part of the book is filled with inspiring birth stories. The second half is information on how to have the birth that you want. The first chapter of that section is entitled "Your Body is not a Lemon." I love this book.

The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears
The book covers everything you need to know from birth to age two. I love his sense of humor and down to earth approach. He is a pediatrician, he and his wife have 8 kids. The two chapters on starting solids are worth the price of the book alone. There is also a great chapter on "baby wearing" with diagrams on different sling positions. This is the book that I give to all of my pregnant family and friends. It was my bible.

The Sears have a whole series of books covering pregnancy, birth, discipline, breastfeeding, etc.
All of them are great.

Your One (Two, Three, Four...) Year Old by Louise Bates Ames
This series of books are oldies but goodies. Each slim volume is a portrait of the child at that age. This is Child Psychology 101. I adore these books! They help me understand how my child thinks and what they are capable of at any given age. I also love the chapter on age appropriate birthday parties in each book.

Love and Anger by Nancy Samalin
Actually, all of her books are wonderful.

Raising a Daughter: Parents and the Awakening of A Healthy Woman by Jeanne and Don Elium
This books helps the reader understand why our daughters are wired differently. I also liked one of their other books, Raising a Family.

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Daniel Kindlon and Micheal Thompson
A great read for Mothers of boys, a MUST read for Fathers of boys.

Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell
I am not lying when I state that I have read every single sleep book available. Not one of them gave me the magic bullet that helped my children sleep through the night. This book was the best of the bunch. She not only explains how children sleep, which is very different from how we sleep, but also stresses how important it is for kids to get enough sleep. Because of her book bedtime happens at 7 pm at my house. And I love that.

Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber
If you have more then one child you should read this book sooner rather then later.

The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood: Coping with Stress, Depression and Burnout by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett
This is a new one. I wish I had read it before my bout with PPD.

Gently Lead: How to Teach Your Children about God While Finding out for Yourself by Polly Berrien Berends
This little book is one of my all time favorites. I don't care what religion you are, or aren't as the case may be, this book will speak to you. I used it this spring to teach a "Soulful Parenting" workshop at my church. I am on my second copy. The first one fell apart from repeated use.

Whole Parent/Whole Child by Polly Berrien Berends
This is my all time, absolutely, hands down most beloved parenting book. Not all of it is relevant. There is a chapter on diaper changing, for example. But the meat of this book rocks. This book helped me define my core parenting philosophy. Whenever I feel lost and need to ground myself, I pick it up.

Well, friends, there you have it. Remember that if you get one or two concrete parenting tools that you can actually use in your real life, then consider the book a success. None of the above authors have all of the answers. No one does. You know your children best.

When we follow our hearts and listen to our guts then our children are in good hands.
Happy reading!