Dear Tech Support

My Dear Ex sent this to me. Since it made me laugh out loud I felt that I had to share.
Author Unknown.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon
noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't
work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM.

And is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! ! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the
system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-
Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on
improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
because Ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system Will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and
Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0
is to purchase additional software... I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
Short skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
Irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support