Handy Men

Good handymen, like good babysitters, are hard to find. People are reluctant to divulge their names. Your best girlfriend may share the name of her hairdresser but be reluctant to share the name of her sitter.

The same is true of handymen. When you do pry a name and number out of someone then it is almost impossible to get him to return your call. And just when you think you have one on the line, he gets away.

When I was married I never needed to hire a handyman. I was married to a man who was handy. He could fix almost anything. And when you live in an old house there are things that constantly need fixing. He also loved to do yard work. Put an electric hedge clipper into the man's hands and he was off to the races. It was hard to get him to stop. Our lawn was always mowed. The bushes meticulously clipped. He even used to sweep the street in front of the house.

The place has not looked the same since he moved out. The bushes in front of my house look like Muppet characters badly in need of a hair cut. I have a field growing in my backyard. I like to pretend that the overgrown, weedy look is "in". That I'm a hip, enviro friendly back to nature girl who has brought a bit of wilderness into the city. Intentional shaggy.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a girlie-girl by any stretch of the imagination. Chipping a nail doesn't phase me. I routinely check the air in my tires. I change light bulbs, take out the trash, drain the boiler, clean the oven and chalk old tile. I don't mind getting my hands dirty, although I do hate to sweat.

But there are some things that I either have no interest in learning how to do or just plain hate to do myself. Replacing the window in the attic, for example. Not only don't I have a clue how to do the job, I have no desire to learn. Installing lightning fixtures, fixing broken door knobs (the kids love to swing on them), and installing sink washers are all on the list.

At the top of the list of things that I hate to do would be all yard/lawn related activities. I could just care less. Clipping the hedges makes me itch. I'm allergic to pine. Finding reasons NOT to do yard work is a piece of cake.

During mediation we agreed that he would retain custody of the power mower and I would get custody of the push mower. Likewise with the snow removal equipment. He got the snow blower. I got the shovels. I do have visitation rights. He will drop off the gas mower on occasion. And when the snow is higher then my knees, he will bring the snow blower by...and usually dig us out.

The front yard is mowed regularly by my 8 year old and myself. He starts and I finish. The backyard is my jungle. The mower doesn't make it back there very often.

So, after hunting down and trapping a good handyman I still have a problem. He keeps canceling on me. He was due this morning at 8am to start work on the window. The window that is letting rain into my house. Even though I have tried to duct tape a garbage bag over the frame. To no avail.

This is the third time he has blown me off. I am beginning to feel despair. I'm not sure that I have the moral fortitude to start the hunt all over again. I'm going to have to be patient. Cause good handymen are hard to find.