Wine Induced Insanity

Way, way back in March I did something crazy. Certifiable. Have my head examined nuts. For one brief moment, while under the ego inflating influence of 2 glasses of wine, I volunteered to preach a sermon at my church. I thought that I had something to say that other folks would find interesting. Enlightening, even. My offer was eagerly accepted. A date was set. When I woke up the next morning I realized that I had well and truly stepped in it this time. As if I don't have enough on my plate. And my damned Yankee pride would not let me back out.

When I mention to friends that I am preaching a sermon they inevitably say, "Ashley, I did not know that you were ordained." Ha! What they do not know is that I am a Unitarian Universalist. Yes, we do have a minister but he takes the summer off to recoup and write and play in the sun. Our congregation used to take the summer off as well. To worship nature. Several years ago we instituted Summer Services. These are lay led services and even though I had been asked to lead a service in the past and have even given the idea fleeting thought, it never interested me much until that fateful evening in March.

You see, I thought I would just have to write some witty, profoundly meaningful 10-15 minute piece and then read it to the 50 or so silly souls who had given up a summer morning in Maine to sit in church. But NO!!!! Turns out that as the leader of the worship service, not only do I get to write and deliver the sermon or homily or whatever but that I HAVE TO PLAN THE ENTIRE HOUR OF WORSHIP. Holy crap! I am responsible for the readings, the announcements, the music, the collection, the blessing and the coffee hour snacks. And everything else I take for granted each Sunday but is essential to a good worship service.

The good news is that my sermon is done. I have preached it brilliantly in my mind several times at 3 am. Brilliantly, I tell you. Only I can't remember even a single word in the morning.

I am so well and truly screwed.

I meet my Maker on the morning of June 24th.

Pray for me, people.