Close Call

Last night was a date night. Date nights are those nights that our schedules match and my ex puts my kids to bed. Then, after the little ones are asleep and her Dad has left, my eldest is in charge. She is paid with an extra bowl of ice cream.

My cell phone is always with me and as much as I want to turn the damned thing off I don't. That would be highly irresponsible. She has called several times in the past and has impeccable timing. Last night I left her with explicit instructions only to call in the case of an emergency. As in: blood, fire, home invasion or aliens. Or any situation she could not handle herself.

Scene One
Location, His bed.

Ring, a linga Ring. Ring a linga Ring. Ring a linga Ring.

Woman stumbles out of bed on shaking legs and somehow makes her brain work and her lips form words.

Yes, Darling. What's up

Mom, Eleanor is afraid. Did you bring your house keys with you? She wants me to lock the back door.

Ummmmm...I think they are in the car.

Could you go look? Please.

Woman looks down at her naked self, considers the several flights of stairs that would need to be navigated on unstable legs and is unable to wrap her mind around the concept.

No, I can't right now. Samantha, please tell your sister that everything is fine. Bodie is in the kitchen and he is a great guard dog.

O.K. Mom, but she is not going to like it.

Give her a hug for me.


Scene Two
Later. At the start of Round Two.

Ring a linga Ring, Ring a linga Ring. Ring a linga Ring.

Samantha.

Mom, she is freaked out. Could you please check your car? Please?

O.K. I'll call you back.

Woman pulls herself together and gets dressed. Man is smiling. And warm in bed. She navigates the stairs with the blessed assistance of the railing and weaves her way to her car. No keys.

Back upstairs she calls her daughter.

The keys are in my bag on the radiator at home. Get them, put them on the back steps and lock the door. I will be home in a while. I love you.

Thanks Mom. You rock.


Scene Three
Conversation with 12 year old. Early the next morning. Woman's bedroom.

Eleanor, tell me about your fears when I am gone. What are you afraid of?

Mom, what if someone breaks into the house?

Sweetie, Bodie would rip him to shreds.

Mom, Bodie would wag his tall and ask for a treat. You know that.

Eleanor, do you want me to stop going out at night? (Woman is praying like mad.) I will stay home if you want me to.


(long pause)


No Mom. Just remember your keys so that we can lock the back door. That makes it better.

Will do. But Hon, you need to understand that fear is like laughter or a head cold. It is contagious. Did you know that you are also making Samantha feel afraid?

No, I didn't. I guess I never thought of that. I will remember.

Good. And I love you. Here, give me a hug.


That was a close call.

(For all of you who are thinking that with better planning on my part the above fiasco could have been avoided...you are right. But I have come to discover that desire can mess with a person's brain.)