More on Chores

Where was I going with this chore business? Oh, yes! My evil plan. It is my intention to have my children do all of the chores in our house so that I can sit on my rump and eat bon-bon's. Just ask my kids. When they scream, "I am not your slave!" or mutter under their breath as they sweep it is all about my evil plan. They certainly aren't singing my praises or bragging to their friends that their mom is helping them build character. I am a slave driver and they are the slaves. Period. End of story. But, interestingly enough, their gripping does not bother me. I love my kids but being their mother is NOT a popularity contest. I am NOT a friend. I am their mother. And that means that I have to risk the snarls, muttering and occasional declaration of hatred. I mean, for pities sake, parenting is hard work. Raising kids is no picnic. And if I am going to do right by them I have to have a thick skin. My chore program began after I read a wonderful book entitled THE BIGGEST JOB WE'LL EVER HAVE. It fundamentally changed the way I think about chores. My children would happily burn the authors in effigy if they could. Change is hard for kids. They resist and complain but ultimately adjust. Witness my divorce. Over a year has passed and the kids are thriving. With love and patience kids do adapt. So when I instituted my chore program there was resistance. Hell, there was out-right rebellion. I thought about giving the whole thing up many times. Could anything be worth this misery? The crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth. And all over a simple broom? Or rake? Or pile of laundry? The early weeks were rough for us all. But I stuck to my guns. And here is the kicker. In order for this to work I needed to take the time to "inspect" the work. If it was not up to snuff then the child was required to do the chore again. And again. And again. Pure misery for all involved. But then a strange thing happened. The complaining slowly disappeared. What was new and horrible became routine. They figured out that it was much easier to do the job correctly the first time rather then have to do it twice. And I did not have to inspect every single time. Just spot inspections. And life slowly returned to normal. Not many things trump chores. Homework always trumps chores. Homework is done as soon as they have had their afternoon snack. If they emerge from their room then I know that their homework is done and that it is time for them to do their chores. After the chores they have their free time before supper. If they choose not to do their chores then they do not eat. That happened once with each older child. They're smart kids. They also know that I am NOT GOING TO CAVE. Being sick will also get you out of chores. But if a child is truly sick then they must stay in bed and my kids would rather do their chores then stay in bed...unless they are really sick! There are no regular chores on the weekends. We all need a break by then. Well, other then the big family projects. Those happen on the weekends. The seasonal leaf raking. The occasional intensive room cleaning. But not every weekend and not for more then a few hours. If they have all worked with a will then I take them to the candy store as a reward. Candy is a wonderful kid motivator. So I am off to clean the garage with the two youngest. I originally started writing this piece because I needed to vent about having to buy 4 brooms, 4 rakes and 4 snow shovels. I have come to the conclusion that the expense is a small price to pay.