A Pain in Her Butt...

I have just returned from the Doctors office. A 4 o'clock appointment that lasted until 5:30! Pizza has been ordered.

My two eldest girls were born exactly 2 years apart. They are best friends, but in the tradition of sisters everywhere, they do piss each other off on occasion. About a month ago they got into a ferocious battle involving much screaming, hitting, name calling and kicking. The 11 year old landed a good shot right on her older sisters butt. After the oldest was comforted by Yours Truly, all was forgiven and forgotten. Unfortunately, her butt did not forget.

For the last month the 13 year old has mentioned at random times that it hurts her to sit for any length of time. She described it as a dull ache and insisted that it was not getting any better. She finally agreed to see the Doctor. After an interminable wait we were ushered into the small exam room. The nurse took her vitals and then we waited some more. Finally the door opened and in walked a little woman who was all of 5 years older then my 13 year old. She was a good 2 inches shorter then my daughter's 5 foot 4 inches. Why am I paying through the nose to have a teenager examine my precious daughter? I wanted OUR doctor and I wanted her NOW. Unfortunately, she was not in the building. We had to make do with Teen Doc.

Teen Doc asked Hurt Child many questions and I did a superb job of biting my tongue. Not cool to answer Teen Doc's questions as if the 13 year old were 4! She left us alone for about 10 minutes to go do who knows what. Adjust her belly button ring and paint her toe nails? While she was gone the 13 year old decided to imitate the 4 year old. She put the exam chair up to its highest level, then down, then up. "Stop, now please" "But Why?" "Because you could fall and break something else!" "Get real, Mom! It's only a 3 foot drop to the floor from here." Through clenched teeth, "Put the chair down...NOW!" Eye roll from the teenager. Then she moved to the Teen Docs chair and proceeded to spin herself around in dizzying circles. "Please stop, Darling" "But Why?" "Because we are in a very small room and you are driving me insane!" Point taken.

Teen Doc returned, directed us to x-ray, and then from x-ray back down to the teeny, tiny exam room.

Teen Doc's diagnosis: 13 year old most likely has fractured her coccyx.

Teen Docs Treatment: Ibuprofen during the day. A "donut" to sit on. (the same type of "donut" I sat on after the birth of said 13 year old gave me a 5 stitch episiotomy!)

Teen Docs Prognosis: She should start to see improvement in the pain in 4 to 8 weeks!

What? No cast for her ass?