Mommy Broke the Law!

I had yet another meeting last night. My fellow members of the Interim Ministry Committee and I conducted a telephone interview of a potential candidate. Scott was at home with the kids and I had promised that I would not be too late. At 9pm we were still on the phone with the candidate and I excused myself. One of the unwritten rules of the Parenting Partner Agreement is that you don't push the good will too far.

The light at Vanna St. is clearly marked in several prominent places as NO TURN ON RED. I sat at that light for what felt like an age. I finally lost my patience. After making a careful check to make sure that there wasn't any traffic in either direction, I made the right turn onto Forest Ave while the light was still red. As I pulled onto Pleasant Ave my car was suddenly filled with blue light. Busted!

I have lived in this neighborhood for 12 years and sat at that annoying light probably a thousand times. In all of that time I have never, not once, turned right while the light was red. God does have a sense of humor. Why else would I get pulled over the first time I break a traffic law in a dozen years?

As I sat in my car waiting for the cop to get out and talk to me I felt a surge of adrenaline that I hadn't felt in many years. The "guilty, Oh my God, I've been caught" type of surge. The last time I felt it was as Dee Kegeles and I were hiding in some bushes behind a house when I was a teenage. We had been at a party and had been taking a walk and talking. O.K., we may have also been smoking illegal drugs, but my memory is hazy on this point. (Mom, the drugs were her's...swear to God!) No, we were not caught, but I almost peed in my pants as the cop walked down the line of houses with his flashlight and I cowered in a bush. The experience turned me from a life of crime. I'm a coward at heart!

The Portland cop finally approached my car. At my window he shone his high intensity flashlight right into my eyes. Who knows, maybe he thought I was a notorious criminal and he wanted to stun me. All notorious criminals drive minivans, right? Mr. Policeman asked me for my license, registration and proof of insurance. A challenging task considering that I was blind. He then asked me if I knew why I had been pulled over.

A no-brainer..."Yes, Officer. I made a right on red."
Mr Policeman, "Where have you been tonight, Ma'am?"
"I have been at a church meeting interviewing a potential ministerial candidate."
Mr. Policeman: "How did it go?"
"Fine, He is a funny and thoughtful man. I think we should make him an offer."
Mr. Policeman: "O.K., Ma'am. I will be back in a minute."

He returned to his cruiser to do a full criminal background check on yours truly. I mean really! I had just returned from church, not from knocking over a bank. After what felt like an age, certainly 3 times as long as I had waited at the stupid red light, he returned to my window. Now that I could see again, I quickly noticed that he was about 18 years old and that he was HOT! I flashed him my best come hither smile as he read me the riot act about my illegal turn. I promised to be a good girl and he let me drive home without a $131 ticket.

Lessons learned from my adventure:

practice patience in all aspects of my life, not just with the kids.

Show cleavage more often on the off chance HOT COP pulls me over again.