Harper Hall entered the world on Sunday. Welcome to the World Harper!
Harper is the daughter of my cousin and my sister's sister in-law. Just because we are Yankees doesn't mean we don't intermarry!
My other sister was the labor doula for the birth. (If you haven't a clue what a doula is then Goggle it.) She took some amazing pictures. Pictures that had me weeping into my wine when I viewed them. My thanks goes out to my cousin's wife for sharing such personal photographs with me. It reminded of the time, almost 5 years ago, when I shared the pictures of my last child's birth with her. She was totally grossed out. I thought she was going to hurl on my couch. And almost 5 years later she had the grace to share her birth pictures with me. A true gift and a blessing.
After I wiped the tears away I called her to express my gratitude. What she had shared was wondrous. The love on the her and my cousins faces as they looked adoringly at their newborn daughter will stay with me forever. I then asked her if I could share her most private of photos with my teenage daughters. She graciously agreed.
My 3 eldest children were in attendance as I gave birth to their younger sister. The eldest was 9 years old, the youngest was 4. The strong impulse to share my cousin's birth pictures is born of my desire to be real with my children. So much of our culture is stilted. One of those facets is the myth that birth is a mindless agony. The classic picture of the birthing woman screaming, flailing and freaked out is viewed as the norm. But birth IS messy. It is also extraordinarily powerful.
The pictures of my cousin's birth were messy. In the extreme. But life is messy. Being a human being is messy. We poop and pee. We sweat and puke. We bleed. Life is messy. Physically messy. To think that birth should be a quiet, clean, somber affair is not realistic. Birth, like life, is messy. Period.
Sharing the pictures with my daughters was a gift to them. If knowledge is power, then they now know that a woman they respect and love had to get messy (and loud) in order to bring her daughter into the world. A bit of knowledge that will stand them in good stead when it comes time for them to birth my grandchildren.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Life is Messy
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5 comments:
Knowledge is power, and it takes alot of the fear away. My mom was great that way as well.
Nice. It's something that all people need to know, sometimes power means you have to get loud and messy.
You are SO COOL. I've actually considered being a doula! I was an unofficial one at two of my friend's births. The first one was rather tragic, as the baby had died in utero about a day before (she was full term). It was healing and necessary for me to be with my friend, Dianne, when she gave birth a couple of years later. It was grueling, but wonderful.
I meant to have my older two witness the birth of my youngest... but then we didn't make it to the hospital on time and I gave birth on the catwalk while the kids and my MIL were trying to find a gurney... I wish I'd been at home!
Oh well. Good intensions.
OHVEY. You are strong and very brave. I HAVE given birth two times (via c-section) and I wouldn't want to see pictures of birth. EWWW. I am glad there are womem and mothers like you to make up for women like ME! Maybe I'll get a daughter-in-law someday who was raised by someone like you and we can even the whole thing out! :)
I think you ROCK! Now I wish I could see the photos.
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