Housecleaning...Sucks

My Uncle, Aunt and cousin are arriving on Tuesday from KY for the holiday. Songs around the fire, turkey with all the fixings, a bridge hand or three, too much wine and nonstop talking and laughter. The kids and I are looking forward to their arrival. They will be staying with us which will make for a packed house. AND I AM FREAKING OUT OF MY EVER LOVIN' MIND! My house is a pit. The hardwood floors haven't been wet mopped in months. The only time they get clean is when someone spills something and it has to be wiped up. And I loath wet mopping. Loathe it. That is just one of the many things I have been noticing this past week as I look at my house with an objective eye. The eye of a house guest. And the scales have been sucked from my eyes which rots because now I have to clean. When I signed up for this mothering gig 14 years ago I didn't necessarily also sign up for the housecleaning piece. As much as I have tried to train the kids to pick up after themselves, to put away what they take out it is much like spitting into the wind. And in truth, the picking up part is easy and done around here on a fairly regular basis. Otherwise a person would not be able to walk from one end of the house to other without falling down. It's the dirt, the dust, the dried on food, the grunge and the fingerprints that have me down this morning. The ex has the kids for the weekend and instead of relaxing I will be cleaning. The job is just so overwhelming that I have had to prioritize, knowing deep in my heart that 1)there is just not enough time to do it all 2)that I will run out of stream long before the job is done. So the trick is to pick the projects that will have the most impact. Give me the most bang for my buck. Here are my top three winners:

• Rent rug cleaner and suck a years worth of spilled crap out of my living room carpet. I do wonder on occasion what the original color was. I know that it wasn't its current shade of blue/gray/brown with spots.
• Clean the oven. I plan to roast a turkey in it on Thursday and I have heard that a clean oven roasts a better bird. My non-self cleaning oven is foul....ha, ha. As in, it would make your skin crawl. When I bake something I shove it in and slam the door shut fast. No need to dwell on the filth.
• Clean my refrigeration. Which is encrusted with all manner of dried, petrified foodstuffs. Some of them, like the spilled maple syrup, will take a blow torch to remove.

Well, into the breach I go, Dear Friends. If you never hear from me again send help. I will be the gibbering fool laying in front of my partially clean oven. Update: The living rug is done. Blue, the color is a lovely blue. The color of the water from the stream cleaner...gray. I'm off to take the dog for a walk as the sun is shining for the first time in 10 days. The stove bites the bust when I return.