Casa de Bashee

DAILY REPORT FOR
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 2ND

CASA DE BANSHEE

• Eldest Daughter S.'s first progress reports from high school are due next week. The teenager was asked by her brave, loving mother to take a guess at her grades. S. informed her mother that no grade was below a 3.0 with one or two a 4.0. The mother praised S. and then asked why they weren't all 4.0 at which point S. stormed out of the room. Apparently the mother is clueless and has no right to ask her daughter such irrelevant and insulting questions. To be continued.
• Second Daughter E. was asked to leave the Casa for an extended period of time late yesterday afternoon for Disturbing the Peace. She was told she could return when she was ready to make amends and live in peace with her fellow occupants. E. choose instead to purloin her brother's bicycle which precipitated further chaos and confusion. E. will be raking the Casa's front lawn after school this afternoon. To be continued.
• Only son J. entered his 12th day of Operation Food and Comfort by refusing to appear for breakfast yesterday morning. Per the operations manual The General (a.k.a. Mom) denied J. breakfast and lunch. J. strongly objected by becoming hopping mad and then developing a sudden high fever. Both J's father and The General kissed J.'s forehead and determined that he was as cool as a cucumber. J. then refused to go to school at which point The General led J. to the window, indicated the large, overgrown garden bordering the backyard and informed J. that if he stayed home he would spend the day on his hands and knees weeding. He would be allowed back in the house when his siblings returned from school. J. decided to go to school after all, screamed his hatred at The General and stomped out of the house. The General was not pleased to hear later in the day that J.'s father and sister had given J. food. Both were informed that they were doing J. no kindnesses if it took J. longer to figure out the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance being to obey The General each and every time, not just when J. feels like it. J. was up and out of bed on time this morning. The General is cautiously optimistic.
• The little one, M. is enjoying kindergarten. She is also benefiting from Operation Food and Comfort in that she obeys more readily and has not tantrumed in 2 whole days. She has even taken to asking to be put in time out. If the General does not count down her time she becomes angry. The child is a wonder.
• The Banshee's had a successful visit to the family shrink yesterday. The teenagers bitched and moaned and made their mother's life a misery for the entire trip there. She briefly considered dropping them off on the side of the road but reconsidered when she remembered that she needed their tax deductions. The therapist pronounced all of the children healthy. He also asked the mother if she knew how rare what she and ex were able to (not fighting and me letting him in my house) do was. How very rare, as in none of his clients even come close to being able to co-parent the way we do. And because of this our kids are in great shape. The mother just nodded and sighed. Then her friend, the therapist laughed while pointing his finger at her and said, "You have teenage daughters. I had 4 sons and never came close to the circle of parental hell you will enter." Love the man. And hate the man. He also pronounced me healthy and told me to go forth and find contentment.
  
• The Momma has recovered from her teenage trip to self pity land. She still misses her flover but is no longer pining away. (My flover, which is a combo of friend and lover, is working a second job through the end of the year.) Instead she has entered the second week of Operation Suck Wind. Another 2 miles this morning puts the total at 17 miles since last Wed. She was pleased to be able to see her ribs for the first time in over a decade. At first she did not realize what she was looking at and thought she had grown strange tumors under her skin. Closer examination revealed her rib cage. She is down to one pair of jeans that does not hang on her hips but has decided not to complain. Skirts and bare legs in winter is a fashion statement.

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