First Born

Fifteen years ago I started on a new journey. My first born child was placed into my arms and I become a mother. Fifteen years ago my daughter started on her journey of life. That day fifteen years ago marked a beginning for both of us.


There is so much I could write about my first born child. As with all of my children, she is bright and funny. Stubborn and compassionate. Loyal and creative. But today I want to write about just one of those facets that define her. My daughter is the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter of an only daughter. Got that? If you believe, as I do, that we are born into our families for a reason, then Samantha was destined to come first.

I could write an entire post just on all of the parenting theories that I have tested on this child. All of the mistakes that I have made. All of the high expectations that I have placed on her shoulders without understanding. She has weathered all of my inexperience with patience and love. Eldest children must be resilient and she is nothing if not resilient. Her resilience may even help her travel through her life as an adult. Of course, I may have totally messed her up in which case she can send me the bill from her therapist when she is thirty.

No, what I want to write about is her role as an older sister. I was an older sister and I clearly remember as a teenage resenting many aspects of the position. I remember not wanting to share my mother. I hated the responsibility of having younger siblings always tagging along. Those are the key words....I resented the responsibility. I did not want to be a role model. I wanted to be an only child. But I was there, in my family, for a reason. And now, those same pesky younger sisters are my best friends.

Samantha, on the other hand, is the soul of grace. She not only accepts the mantel of responsibility inherent in her position but she does so with patience and love. And she knows, somewhere deep inside, that they are all watching her. Taking unconscious mental notes on how it might be done. How to live with love, humor and patience. She is not always accepting of her role. I would worry if she were as it is not an easy road to walk. But she has always treated her younger siblings with tolerance and love. For that, and for that alone, she deserves high praise. What she doesn't know yet, but I do, is that they will end up being her best friends. The friends she turns to when she wants to share the joy of love or needs a shoulder to cry on. They will be there for her as she is there for them now. Long after I am gone my tribe of Banshees will have each other. And at the head and in the lead will always be Samantha.

Happy Birthday, My love.