Oh, For Dumb!

Hold on, I have to finish blowing the dust off of the keyboard.

Better, much better. Now, down to business. Life continues to flow on here at Casa de Banshee. There have been some wonderful highs and a few low, lows. In the coming days, as I reacquaint myself with my blog I will elaborate. The main point is the we are all reasonably happy and very healthy.

Which brings me to several hours ago. Picture this, if you will. I have set up a borrowed 7 foot step ladder next to my first floor front hall window. On the outside. In the driveway, to be exact. I am perched on the next to top step having just pried the top storm window open. I am in a beautiful floral print dress, hoop earrings and other assorted bling as well as the appropriate make-up for church. My feet are bare. I made that choice after the first aborted attempt to climb the step ladder in my dress sandals.

There I stand, perched like a tricked out house painter or a gender challenged cat bugler, for approximately 5 minutes. I spent this time well. I was trying to figure out if I could actually get my leg up and over the top of the sill. And if I did, would it be long enough to reach the radiator on the other side? Or would I get stuck? Half in and half out of my own house. The dress was proving problematic as well. I contemplated tying it up around my waist which would get it out of the way. But then, I could not remember whether I had on one of my pairs of lace panties or one of the old, baggy ripped pairs. Which led me to ponder which I would prefer the neighbors and passerbys to see?

It was at this point that the ladder gave one of those little shivers that aluminum ladders like to give. It is possible the my knees were shaking, just a wee bit. So, the ladder shuddered and that is when the final, most important thought crossed my mind.

I could FALL AND BREAK EVERY FUCKING BONE IN MY BODY.

(Mom, I am sorry about the profanity. I know that you don't like it but sometimes a word just needs to be in a sentence and that word needed to be in that sentence.)

I promptly backed very, very carefully down the step ladder. I then walked to a neighbors, and said to her seven year old son,

"Aidan, Will you be my Knight in Shining Armor? I am a Damsel in Distress and you are my one and only hope. Will you help me, Sir Knight?"

Monkey boy was up the ladder, though the window and had the front door unlocked in less then a minute. My Hero!

Oh, did I fail to mention that I locked myself out of the house on my way to church?