My Darling Boy,
You turn 9 years old today. Happy Birthday, My Sweet!
I knew shortly after your sister Eleanor was born that I was not done having children. You had been in my heart forever, long before you were actually conceived. People, family and friends alike, wondered why your father and I would want more children. We had two wonderful daughters, easy children both. I was confident in my mothering skills. Life was good. But you were missing.
You took your own sweet time getting here. Your due date was January 21st. Yes, you can do the math. You were 4 weeks late. Four very long weeks. You kicked and squirmed and as my due date came and went I despaired that I would ever get to hold you in my arms. We had planned to have you be born at home. The birth tub was set up in your room but we never filled it with water because on Presidents Day weekend I decided to kick you out. I know you loved being inside me but I so needed to hold you.
By the way, you were never thought of in terms of "he" or "him". You were Isabelle. As the eldest of 5 girls and the mother of 2 daughters I assumed that I would have daughters.
At the hospital I begged for some pitocin and 20 hours later you slid into the world. My first words were "what the hell is that between her legs!". I cried and laughed as I held your wet, sticky, screaming body to mine. I can still taste the saltiness of you in my mind. My son. Bald as a cue ball and as long as they come, you were perfect. And you were pissed off. It took a long time for you to stop screaming enough to look at me but when you did I fell head over heels in love.
My son, you are not an easy child. You have humbled me as a mother and as a woman. You have taught me that I know nothing about parenting. All of my old tricks and techniques were laughable in the face of your personality. But as I often remind you, we were meant to be together. Because of you I am a better mother and woman. And because of me you will grow up to a fine man.
I love you, My Darling. Keep on doing what you do best...driving me mad and bringing me joy. Know that even when I want to rip your head off that I still love you passionately. Know that you are a blessing and a gift.
Happy Birthday, Joshua.
Love, Mom
Saturday, February 17, 2007
A Letter to My Son
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8 comments:
sniff sniff.
that was beautiful. He is lucky, and so are you.
That's just beautiful. Enjoy your day!
THAT was beautiful! :)
And as a fellow weather watcher, I am thinking from watching the news that you indeed get that big storm, no?
Aww, now I'm all teary-eyed.
Is there a law or something, that the third one has to knock you off of your parenting high-horse? Cause man, I understand - and having compared notes with other mothers, I'm just wondering. Like you get pregnant with the third one and God say, "Oh, ya think you're so good at this, do ya? Try this on for size..."
:-)
*says* I mean (must learn to proofread comments...)
He reminds me in looks so much of my own boy. And believe me when I say I understand your sentiment so much. He is beautiful and so are you.
After I just gave birth to my son, the nurse told me that having kids is just like eating Lay's potatoe chips "You can't have Just One!!"
Beautiful story...Happy Birthday!!!
Hey Ashley - don't stay away too long!
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