Second String Lover

I have a problem. I have many, actually, but one particular problem keeps rearing it's ugly head. You see, I have become inordinately fond of sex. It is as if a little switch has been thrown in my brain and my once dormant libido is now out of control. My problem is that my lover is not available as often as I would like. Not nearly as often. But, being a creative woman, I have come up with a solution. Here is my new Cupid (on-line dating site for those not in the know) Profile:

Seriously Horny Woman Seeking Second String Lover

Seeking man to be my lover when my main squeeze is either parenting or out of commission. You must be sensitive, passionate and tender. Being able to speak or think is not very important, although the ability to flatter and compliment is. You must have god like stamina and not need to take a nap between round one and two or round two and three, etc. Tall and lean is nice but not required. You must, however, pass the sniff test. If you smell good to me then you will advance to the final round of contestants. Advantages would include but are not limited to being able to prepare a quick, delicious light meal; ability to change a CD and knowing appropriate love making music and how to give a great message. Don't apply if you do not view kissing as an art form, don't have a sense of humor and have excessive body hair or bad teeth.


What do you think? Should I add anything before I go live?

Added several weeks later: I have changed my mind about the ability to speak and think. On further reflection I have come to the conclusion that attraction has as much to do with the mind as with the body. A body without an intriguing mind would most likely leave me uninspired.